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How to Beat Up Anybody: An Instructional and Inspirational Karate Book by the World Champion

By Judah Friedlander

“World Champion” Judah Friedlander tells you How to overcome Up anyone in this insanely hilarious satirical martial arts advisor. higher often called an award-winning stand-up comedian, actor, and celebrity of 30 Rock, Friedlander stocks his adventures in butt-kicking with fortunate readers in a self-defense guide within the gut-busting vein of The fact approximately Chuck Norris.

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MAKE YOUR WEAKEST FINGER YOUR most powerful. perform PUSHING THE refrigerator UP AND DOWN WITH simply YOUR LITTLE FINGER. in any case the power education, it’s time to paintings on hand-eye coordination by means of juggling eight cans of beans. Cans are greater than specialist juggling balls simply because they’re precisely the width of a person’s neck if you’re choking it. old truth: Juggling isn't just for clowns. within the 1800s, clowns was the main feared warring parties on the earth. They wore clown make-up to conceal their id simply because they have been sought after criminals.

Joe instructed me that the four twins I beat up 5 years in the past have been really now not his twins and weren't even with regards to him. seems, Joe have been searching for those men simply because all of them copied his visual appeal and have been committing crimes within the neighborhood—so that in the event that they obtained stuck, they wouldn’t get blamed and Joe may. It used to be a vintage case of id robbery. this is often the very same form of atrocity that occurs to hundreds of thousands of american citizens each day. Joe thanked me again and again for beating up all of his impostors.

ROLLER-SKATING whereas SKATEBOARDING ON A BUMPY SIDEWALK AT 60 MILES in step with part HOUR is an efficient stability workout. education IN negative stipulations MAKES YOU a greater FIGHTER. additionally do that workout UPHILL. ROLLER-SKATEBOARD DOWNHILL to select UP extra pace. this is often solid education on your sideway stability. Don’t consistently assault head-on. sometimes it’s greater to assault from the part. holiday YOUR SKATEBOARD SO not anyone CAN reproduction YOUR education method. LATER, WELD IT again including the warmth out of your fingers. If you’re no longer on the point of welding steel together with your personal naked palms, don't holiday your skateboard.

I come to a decision that the supply man isn't a chance simply because he’s donning shorts. men in shorts don't have any struggling with skill. If you’re donning denims, and the opposite man is donning shorts—you will win. I supply him instructions and inform him to fulfill me at my residence. We trip individually. I nonetheless don’t totally belief him. I OPEN MY DOOR and conceal ONE ARM. IF HE CAN’T SEE MY ARM, HE CAN’T shield opposed to IT. i've got 2 entrance doorways. TO CONFUSE domestic INVADERS. THE DOOR TO MY LEFT IS A seize DOOR. if you happen to OPEN IT, you are going to instantly DROP seventy five toes INTO QUICKSAND.

Yet they by no means train the price of foot pace. Foot pace is important. tips to get quicker is to perform operating fairly quick. There’s no higher position to check your foot velocity than at the street. It’s very important for me to be fairly quickly, in order that i will be able to outrun cop vehicles and resolve crimes prior to they do. In photograph 1, you will find me preparing. In photograph 2, I spot a crimson SUV and choose to race it. In pictures 2–6, you will see me working a lot swifter than the purple SUV. I’m simply getting all started so I’m nonetheless at my strolling speed of fifty eight mph.

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