The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld

By Terry Pratchett, Stephen Briggs

For greater than 20 years, Terry Pratchett has been regaling readers with stories of Discworld—a flat global balanced at the backs of 4 elephants, that are status at the again of a large turtle, flying via area. it's a international populated via ineffectual wizards and sharp-as-tacks witches, through drained policemen and devious dictators, by means of reformed thieves and vampires who've sworn to drink no blood. it's a international that's tremendously varied from our personal . . . other than while it isn't.

Now, in The Wit and knowledge of Discworld, a variety of nuggets of Pratchett's witty remark and sagacious observations were compiled by means of Pratchett specialist Stephen Briggs, a guy who, they are saying, is familiar with much more approximately Discworld than Terry Pratchett.

Within those pages, you will discover musings on:

  • Interior decorating: "It's a truth identified in the course of the universes that regardless of how conscientiously the colours are selected, institutional decor finally ends up as both vomit eco-friendly, unmentionable brown, nicotine yellow, or surgical equipment purple. via a few little-understood means of sympathetic resonance, corridors painted in these colours continually odor just a little of boiled cabbage—even if no cabbage is ever cooked within the vicinity." (Equal Rites)
  • Travel: "Any professional vacationer quickly learns to prevent whatever wanted on them as a 'regional speciality,' simply because all of the time period potential is that the dish is so disagreeable the folk dwelling in every single place else will chunk off their very own legs instead of consume it. yet hosts nonetheless press it upon far-off site visitors besides: 'Go on, have the dog's head crammed with macerated cabbage and red meat noses—it's a neighborhood speciality.'" (The final Continent)
  • Young men: "And then there has been the younger male stroll. at the least girls swung basically their hips. younger males swung every little thing, from the shoulders down. you should try and occupy loads of house. It makes you glance larger, like a tomcat fluffing his tail. the men attempted to stroll colossal in self-defense opposed to all these different monstrous boys in the market. i am undesirable, i am fierce, i am cool, i would like a pint of shandy and me mam desires me domestic by means of nine." (Monstrous Regiment)
  • Class: "'Old cash' intended that it have been made see you later in the past that the black deeds that had initially crammed the coffers have been now traditionally inappropriate. humorous, that; a brigand for a father was once anything you saved quiet approximately, yet a slave-taking pirate for a great-great-great-grandfather was once whatever to boast of over the port. Time grew to become the evil bastards into rogues, and rogue was once a observe with a twinkle in its eye and not anything to be ashamed of." (Making Money)

. . . and extra! Culled from all of the Discworld novels, The Wit and knowledge of Discworld confirms Pratchett's position within the pantheon of significant satirists and proves why the Chicago Tribune has praised his Discworld as "entertaining and gloriously humorous . . . an accomplishment not anything wanting magical."

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You, Vimes, definitely aren't any knight. sooner than a knight is created he needs to spend a night’s vigil staring at his armour—’ ‘Practically each evening of my life,’ acknowledged Vimes. ‘A guy doesn’t regulate his armour around the following, that man’s received no armour within the morning. ’ ‘In prayer,’ stated Rust sharply. ‘That’s me,’ acknowledged Vimes. ‘Not an evening has passed by with out me pondering, “Ye gods, i'm hoping i am getting via this alive. ”‘ ‘—and he should have proved himself at the box of wrestle. opposed to different educated males, Vimes. no longer vermin and thugs.

It made an odd little noise, like a faint, chilly sizzle. * The Chalk Hill Feegles have been extra at domestic with the drinkin’, stealin’ and fightin’, and Rob anyone was once stable in any respect 3. yet he’d realized to learn and write simply because Jeannie had requested him to. He did them with much more optimism than accuracy. whilst he was once confronted with an extended sentence he tended to see a number of phrases after which have a good titanic wager. * The white kitten watched the snowflakes. It used to be known as You, as in ‘You! cease that! ’ and ‘You!

He by no means attempted to sort things that labored. issues that didn’t paintings, besides the fact that, obtained damaged. * The query seldom addressed is the place Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an excellent extra embarrassing challenge whilst it retains biting the head of the deodorant bottle. * in line with rural legend - no less than in these parts the place pigs are an essential component of the loved ones economic system - the Hogfather is a iciness fable determine who, on Hogswatchnight, gallops from condominium to deal with on a crude sledge drawn through 4 tusked wild boars to convey offers of sausages, black puddings, red meat scratchings and ham to all little ones who've been stable.

There has been loads of beer approximately. right here and there red-faced wizards have been fortunately making a song historic consuming songs which concerned loads of knee-slapping and cries of ‘Ho! ’ the single attainable excuse for this type of factor is that wizards are celibate, and feature to discover their enjoyment the place they could. * the better degrees of wizardry are a dangerous position. each wizard is making an attempt to dislodge the wizards above him whereas stamping at the palms of these lower than; to assert that wizards are healthily aggressive via nature is like asserting that piranhas are obviously a bit peckish.

In a foreign country I don’t mind,’ stated Rincewind. ‘They’re all foreigners. It’s loss of life jogging round the following I’m no longer expecting. ’ * ‘If we get a chance,’ whispered Rincewind to Nijel, ‘we run, correct? ’ ‘Where to? ’ ‘From,’ acknowledged Rincewind, ‘the vital be aware is from. ’ * Nijel was once a type of those that, for those who say ‘don’t glance now’, may instantly swivel his head like an owl on a turntable. those are an identical those who, if you happen to indicate, say, an strange crocus simply beside them, flip around aimlessly and positioned their foot down with a tragic little squashy noise.

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